21SCHIZM

Physical Wellness ,Supportive Roles, and Career Goals vs. Horrors of Mental Illness

Life by definition, shows no certain trajectory. We try and aim for goals yet life always bears its own plans. We grin and bear with the negative and accept the positive with glee.

Regardless, sometimes, especially with the mentally bound, everything goes kaput. Wrestling with the demons that cause the most pain requires a spirit of resiliency. The greatest ally and exorcist against the demons driving mental illness does not appear as medicine or therapy but, more so time and experience. At least, for me that is.

This article intends in outlining the aspects of life, career goals, family or support and health, in which the demons of mental illness have the most effect and showing how I, myself, as an example, vanquished my own demons and devised a plan for recovering.

Voodoo of Mental Illness

Believe me when I say, the hex of schizophrenia, truly is that, a hex or a curse. Sometimes I feel like I wronged the odds and set myself upon my own demise by doing something as simple as breaking a mirror or allowing a black cat to cross my path.

Of course of the two the mirror appears with me shouldering the most blame. Generally, with mental illness we prefer in not assigning blame unless dealt upon the weight of brain chemistry or trauma. Nevertheless, something went wrong somewhere down the line. While trauma, somewhat associates with the mirror, brain chemistry often besets the way of the cat, passively.

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Trauma and Breaking the Mirror

While I myself do not subscribe to the tenets or loyalties of superstition. There exists an analogy of making between the unlucky breaking of a mirror and the trauma of mental illness.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE MIRROR BREAKS?

When a mirror, broken intentionally or unintentionally, happens something occurs in the physical that can relate to one’s own psyche. Cast upon the mirror is a fragmenting. The act of breaking causes that object of clear and clean reflection to morph into a chasm of its former glory.

THE SELF FORMS INTO SHARDS OF NEW FEATURES AND OLD

No longer can one see themselves in that mirror. Instead the “self” reflected in that mirror exists as something that one must interpret from the shards. Thus comes the relation to trauma.

RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TRAUMA/HEALTH AND THE MIRROR

Trauma may occur as a consequence of poor judgment , such as the undertaking or progress of a relationship with an emotionally abusive person. In examples like these one could contend intentionality, yet who breaks a mirror willfully, if not out of rage.

Likewise the incidental trauma of take for say a physically abusive parent would relate to an unintentionally broken mirror. Either way the self transforms into fragments of its former nature, like the mirror.

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Brain Chemistry and the Black Cat

My health and I, tend in associating more with the black cat and brain chemistry. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately for me, my issue did not chalk up to trauma. A black cat wandered across my path, figuratively of course, and gifted me with 10 years, or possibly more of a screwed up mental.

Certainly, not my aim. With a black cat there really is no way to assign blame to the victim. The only way, possible considers the wild and quite frankly, stupid possibility that one seeks out the presence of the cat.

HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT OUT THE BLACK CAT

For the purposes of this article, take for say use of tobacco products, failure to quit smoking, harmful drugs or foregoing to limit alcohol. Otherwise, brain chemistry relates to the matters of genetics or the random and happenstance.

Just as, at first, that black cat seems nothing more than a simple event with an average likelihood. Instead, the superstitious with premonition would mark this with ominous forebodings. For the purposes here the superstitious substitutes in the analogy as a psychiatrist or one familiar with the matters of brain chemistry.

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Curses of Career Goals and Professional Life

Sometimes with mental illness and its symptoms we find, as I found myself, that our dreams and career goals do not actually matter to the curses and chaos behind this dark foe. In my journey with my ever present demons, I at many points felt that I could no longer endure.

NO AMOUNT OF MENTAL STRENGTH TRAINING CAN COUNTER MENTAL ILLNESS

This of course, represents nothing new for victims of mental illness. Somehow with all the brawn of my brain I found myself bewildered. Scholarships and high marks lost all meaning and my illness malformed me into something broken or fragmented.

MY CAREER GOALS AND SELF FELT SHATTERED JUST LIKE THE MIRROR

Just like that mirror I found myself on the ground shattered. However, these episodes with me on the ground began to form into a nasty series. I became what everybody hates to be, a victim.

No matter what I tried, psychologists, social workers and others, my demons trailed me with a dreadful voracity. The points of me begging for mercy began to mount. In high school it played out as a brief stint in juvie junior year and a catatonic coma senior year. Both years I still managed to achieve honors.

Next came college with full tuition and board. The first year I dropped out due to illness, which marked the first time I found myself on the ground since when I was in juvie. Then I returned to college where I completed 2 full semesters still on scholarship, yet during the second my illness reared its ugly head again. I returned briefly in 2017, yet schizophrenia only allowed me to stay for 3 weeks.

DEVIATION OF CAREER GOALS AND PROFESSIONAL FOCUS

Eventually, college declared my relationship with it as over, citing too many attempts as the culprit. Then I tried my hand at programming with the focus of building android application. Technical failures retired this application.

I then tried information technologies by aiming for an A+ certification. A shift from my medical career goals or any relevant potential employer. I failed the exam due to unpreparedness on the behalf of my schizophrenia telling me not to study.

Thus we arrive at my current situation, co-founder and owner of 21SCHIZM. Recovering from mental illness requires a lot of flexibility and resiliency but goes a lot better with support, for me I find this source as my family.

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Faith Hidden Within the Family Shouldering Healthy Weight of Support

Somehow with all the negativity my illness directly and indirectly poured into the mix of my family, our relationship survived and grew stronger. The schizophrenia organized a witch’s brew of great might yet my family’s faith in me withstood.

MENTAL ILLNESS’ STRAIN ON YOUR COMMUNITY

I remember the bitterest moments. From physical attacks on my brother and cousin to episodes with me stripping my clothes and venturing to random places with no clear intent. Cussing out my parents and setting negative examples for my younger sister. Lying about taking my medications as prescribed and even accusing my medical health professionals of falsifying their certificates. I felt like my life spiraled out of control.

Resolving the issues with my family did not proceed as a natural science. Even with family therapy my issues still persisted. The issues with my family continued for about 9 years. Meanwhile, they stood by my side, encouraging me and supporting through all the nonsense. Not every one experiences this kind of support.

FIND SUPPORT IN YOUR COMMUNITY

For those that do not, I suggest finding a support system. This includes involving oneself with programs like Easterseals or groups that engage with the community. The faith poured into and nurtured by you become one of your greatest resources. I hear faith is a strong nemesis toward the supernatural, if we are willing to proceed with the analogies of mental health and the superstitious.

Recovering

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Haunts of Mental Illness Behind Physical Health

If you are anything like me, then your illness really exhibits little to no care for your physical wellness. In the struggles with my schizophrenia I experienced binges with no food or hydration. This translated into wild fluctuations in weight and a variety of stomach issues.

At one point I received the brand of bulimia nervosa. This disorder, described as a period in which one binges on food and thereafter purges or vomits it out, in order to deter weight gain.

Moreover, in the tussles I endured with family, medical health professionals, and police due to my illness I exercised no regard toward the physical activity pain felt by my body. As a result of one of these battles I ended up in the hospital with rhabdomyolysis. For those that do not know what rhabdomyolysis is, it basically consists of a process in which muscle tissue breaks down from excessive use or physical activity with no hydration and the release of a protein which may damage the kidney.

One treats this with an IV of fluids, electrolytes and rest. I stayed in the medical wing of the hospital for about 2 weeks then they transferred me to the psych ward when my physical wellness increased.

The best way of remaining healthy during bouts of psychosis chalks up to resisting voices and attempting to use common sense. Drink adequate amounts of water and try to eat even when the haunts of mental illness say otherwise. Remember as 21SCHIZM likes to state, you were there before your illness and you will be there long after it subsides.

Recovering

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My Enchantment Over Schizophrenia and Your Own Story

My story may serve as an example for you. I have stayed out of the hospital for about 1 year now and dealt with schizophrenia for about 10. Long story short, the length of the story seems to be what really mattered. Time and experience came out as the champion over pain and misfortune.

Although, over the years my history tacked on a lot of different medications. Therein lies the reason of why I am hesitant to attribute the cure to medicine. As is the story with superstitions, while some may seek out remedies to rid themselves of voodoo and curses. Some just feel safer riding out the duration of their curses, because simply put nothing ever really lasts forever.

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