21SCHIZM

My First Episode of Psychosis and When it Happened

It should come as no surprise, that for most, the first episode of psychosis actually presents itself as a major surprise. The when of the first episode often arouses the most astonishing of reactions. My family certainly does not accord its own exclusion for their first episode, in terms of the when. Furthermore, the time surrounding the first episode may bestow upon the diagnosis certain plausibility or alibis for the occurrence. At the start, every party involved vies in supplementing the episode with some sort of justification.    

First Episode of Psychosis
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Running the show of life with a sorts of figure behind the curtain is difficult. Especially when that man, woman or magic hand is not your own and you have no idea whose interests are at stake. Indeed, the phrase deus ex machina claims a spontaneous foothold when things in the afflicted one’s life playout according to plan. In my case the first episode manifested in my junior year. Major highlights included the progression of my first Advanced Placement course which I was forced to drop after onset. Also my favorite Kanye West album dropped, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.  Although I cannot remember the exact date of onset, I was in juvenile detention during Thanksgiving. 

Additionally, my brother wrote to me in juvenile detention whilst in the middle of his college career. Around this time, they were retiring from campus for Thanksgiving break. My mother made sure and certain of visiting me as frequently as possible. The detention in the juvenile center represented the most immediate consequence of my first episode of psychosis. The season was still warm as they had allowed us to play outside, during the course of detention.

First Episode of Psychosis can Guarantee Changes, Even Physically

In terms of maturity, I was fifteen and still in my awkward phase. That awkward phase would have concluded by the time juvie ended. All my shyness and physical stature had evolved. I emerged from juvenile detention built with a new bravado and muscular cockiness. My simple explanation for it now, is if I was mature enough to do time, I better be wise and built enough to back it up. Even so, I never told the guys back at my school why I was absent for so long. They had their own suspicions. A trip to Africa where I battled beasts such as lions, was their favorite. Some of them guessed I had started steroids. I laughed off each and every one of their guesses. 

Timing for anything never works out exactly as we plan. Sometimes things we do not even plan pop up. They surprise even those of the most rigid of dispositions. That said, ‘when’ is  a matter of preparedness. Preparing for the future seems easy enough. Yet at the same time preparing for the irregular is anything but regular. In fact, preparing for it may land you amongst the company of those akin to my own disposition or 21SCHIZM. All things considered, do not get caught in the mundanity of life while trying to avoid the figure behind the curtain. 

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